Feminism is the radical notion that women are people said someone famous. That sums up feminism better than any long winded definitio...

Saturday, 25 January 2014

My Little Girl

Sometimes, every once in a while,
for a few fleeting moments
before the hubbub of everyday takes over
and all dreams are brushed aside,
I feel something roll inside me
and for a fraction of a second I'm transposed
to a time long ago.

I'd dreamed you from the start:
as a tiny mass of cells 
multiplying ferociously inside me -
 I could already see your face,
imagine the contours of your tiny body.
Holding you in my arms
dressing you in little frocks 
and letting you do all that
I wasn't allowed to do.

My precious darling,
you were not to be
I weighed the various facts
and decided to let you go.
You didn't carry enough weight
in my schemes, as they stood:
sucked you out of me, I did:
through a vacuum tube.

Can't afford you at this juncture, 
is the lie I told myself;
set myself free:
to just be me. 
Free to imagine, 
what could have been.

Now when I see little girls
holding mommies' hands, 
and prance around
doing a merry dance,
filled with regret,
I feel a distinct pang-
for what could have been.

But I willed it otherwise.
Don't live with regrets, they tell me
So this guilt, I hide
But I know, I shall pay for it 
only with my life.

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